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I really like spiritual growth, I just don’t like the way it happens.  Spiritual growth happens slowly, in a process, in increments, in hard times, in painful conviction of sin, in dependence, in struggle, in exposure of my motives, in repentance, in confession, in wrestling with God and with myself, and in times of instability.  Even when we know that the eventual outcome is good, these kinds of processes are not real appealing.

A friend recently sent me a poem that deals with this slow process of spiritual growth.  I found it very helpful.  Let me give this disclaimer:  The author of this piece was a Jesuit priest with many and varied beliefs that I would not hold.  That said, the content of this particular piece, as it relates to the process of spiritual growth, has some real value.

by Teilhard de Chardin

Above all, trust in the slow work of God. 

We are, quite naturally,

Impatient in everything to reach the end without delay…

We should like to skip the intermediate stages.

We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new. 

And yet, it is the law of all progress

that it is made by passing through some stages of instability…

and that it may take a very long time.

And so I think it is with you.

Your ideas mature gradually;

Let them grow, let them shape themselves,

without undue haste.

Don’t try to force them on,

as though you could be today what time

(that is to say,

grace and circumstances acting on your own goodwill)

will make you tomorrow.

Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming

within you will be.  Give our Lord the benefit of your

believing that his hand is leading you, and of your

accepting the anxiety

of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete. 

As spiritually growing people our lives are “in suspense and incomplete” as far as the final formation of Christlikeness in us.  We are persevering through the times of instability.  We are on the way to be like Jesus and the completion of that process will only happen when we see Christ.  In the mean time, we have the resource of God’s enabling grace, if we will grasp it, to thrive and grow in this challenging process.

The pitfalls along this path of spiritual growth are legion: giving up, self-medicating, demands, anger, striking out at God, striking out at others, strategies to avoid pain, bitterness, fear, self-pity, denial, anxiety, impatience, spiritual attack, losing vision, losing hope, suspecting God and others of not caring for us, and pretending that life is foundationally about something other than becoming like Christ.

My son and I once climbed up a peak in Idaho called Mt Borah.  At one point we were climbing along a knife edge ridge that was our only route and the wind was blowing so hard that I was holding on to my son for fear he would be blown off the ridge.  Spiritual growth often happens in high winds. 

Keep climbing friends.

Today each one of us is a compilation of the things that we have experienced and the way we have responded to the things that we have experienced.  The thing experienced is important and the way we respond is more important.  Someone has said that we are primarily shaped by the people in our lives, the places we live, and the books we read.  (This final clause “the books we read” may be less true for the younger, more electronic, generation.)

Outside of the Word of God the following books have had the most profound impact on my life of anything that I have read—at least in recent memory and I have a poor memory.  Please understand that much of the impact of these books has to do with profound and compelling writing, and much of the impact has to do with how I am wired and what I have experienced in my life.  I say that because many of these books may not be helpful or interesting to you since we do not have the same wiring and backgrounds. 

That said, here is the list with a few comments:

Spiritual growth books:

• Knowing God by J. I. Packer.  (Understanding God as He really exists.)
• The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan.  (Sabbath rest.)
• Your God is Too Safe by Mark Buchanan.  (Understanding God as He really is.)
• The Holy Wild by Mark Buchanan.  (Living in pursuit of God and His will.)
• The Glorious Pursuit by Gary L. Thomas.  (The attributes of Christ.)
• A Hunger For Healing by J. Keith Miller.  (Heart-level dealing with sin.)
• Psalm 23: The Song of a Passionate Heart by David Roper.  (Dealing with depression.)
• These books have shaped me profoundly.  They have shaped me because they have helped me to understand in a deeper and more accurate way Who God really is.  We can only draw near to God in the measure that we understand how He actually exists.  If we attempt to draw near to God as we want Him to be we are actually drawing away from God.

Leadership and change books:

• The Making of a Leader by Bobby Clinton.  (Stages in God’s development of a leader.)
• The Leader’s Journey by Jim Herrington.  (Acting as the primary change agent in all my settings.)
• Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes by William Bridges.  (The three stages of every change process.)
• Deep Change by Robert Quinn.  (Acting as the primary agent of change in all my settings.)
• A Resilient Life by Gordon MacDonald.  (Running when you want to walk.)
• Ordering Your Private World by Gordon MacDonald.  (Recalibrating my inner life to live for the glory of God.)
• These books have continually pointed me to the central truth that my focus must be on my personal responsibility and choices rather than how other people are misbehaving or on how the world is an unfair place.  Taking a victim mentality only leads to a life of mediocrity.  The more I take personal responsibility for my life the more fulfilling my life will be.

Geographic and “upbringing” books:

• This House of Sky by Ivan Doig.
• Sea Runners by Ivan Doig.
• Dancing at the Rascal Fair by Ivan Doig.
• This list of books may be the least helpful or interesting to others.  We are all shaped profoundly by the places we grew up and the geographic “imprint” on our souls.  I grew up in the West and in the mountains and in the forest and in the rural areas.  Doig writes with incredible skill about the kinds of places that imprinted my soul when I was growing up.

Worship books:

• Music Through the Eyes of Faith by Harold M. Best.  (How should Christians think about music?)
• Unceasing Worship by Harold M. Best.  (Worship as pouring out my life to God.)
• These two books have had profound effect on me.  Best has insights into music and worship that are remarkable.  If every believer would read these two books with an open heart the “worship wars” in America would be cut by 90%.

Marriage book:

• Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerishes.  (A profound expansion of Eph 5.)
• One of the best marriage books I have ever read.  Really a “must read” for people who are married or will one day get married.

Bible study book:

• Living By The Book by Howard Hendricks.  (The “bible” on studying the Bible.)
• Howard Hendricks is in the top five of my personal hero list.  His work on Bible study is unparalleled. 

Napoleon is reported to have said, “Armies don’t rule people.  Ideas rule people.”  One of the reasons that our lives are “unruly” is because we are not reading the right books!

Last year on October 17th I gave a message on loving our families well. At the end of that message I asked everyone to take a small card out of their bulletin and fill in a single family commitment they would be willing to make. Folks then put that card in a basket at the front of the room. More than 600 cards were placed in the baskets that day—each one containing promises of new actions or new thoughts or new words toward family members. Each card came from a heart that recognized the value of family and also recognized the importance of greater love for their families.

Recently I read those cards and categorized the commitments. The commitments broke down into 24 different categories. The top three categories each received over 100 commitments. These three categories essentially doubled the other categories in the tally—showing the strong desires to improve these three areas.

The major commitment that folks made that day was to spend more time with their families (114 responders). What a great commitment! I spend a fair amount of time with Kathi and I spent a fair amount of time with my children when they lived with me. I can assure you that if I have any regret about my parenting it is that I did not spend near enough time with my children. Genesis 2 and 3 clearly point out that we are sinners and clearly our sin has a negative impact on our families. Genesis 2 also makes it clear that one of our problems is aloneness. We are, to one degree or another, distant from each other. We fail to connect with each other. We fail to understand each other and to share ourselves with each other.

If my kids were home I would take them on more dates, I would plan more activities with them, I would walk into their rooms more often and engage them in conversation, I would ask them more questions, I would be more faithful about my days off, and I would work harder to be with them. I would work a lot harder than I did to make it clear that I love and value them and that I desperately want a good relationship with each one of them.

Additionally, as has often been said, “Faith and values are more caught than taught.” Not only does time together enhance relationship it also enhances discipleship.

The second commitment, by a single vote, was to improve relationship with God as part of being a better family member and responding to each other with improved relationship styles (113). There was a clear recognition that the closer I am to God the better family member I am and the better my ability to be close to my family members. Many, many people made commitments to better prayer lives, devotional lives, Bible study, and other spiritual disciplines.

The condition of our inner spiritual lives is lived out in every aspect of our outer lives. Inner maturity and spiritual health will always surface in quality family relationships, great financial stewardship, good physical fitness, humble service, and words of grace, truth, and edification. Drawing near to God is a huge reward in itself. The many “by-products” of a healthy spiritual life are terrific.

The third place commitment was to pray with and for family members (101). I would imagine one of the greatest failures our family lives is the failure to pray with and pray for our family members. Some families pray together only at meal times or not at all. Some families pray only in times of death and crisis. Some family members rarely or never pray for the others in their families.

Prayer is the greatest help, highest impact, highest blessing, highest leverage, highest good, that we can do for our families. Hudson Taylor once said, “When we work we work but when we pray God works.” We can work real hard to influence and empower our family members or we can pray real hard for the all-wise, all-knowing, all-loving, all-powerful God of the universe to influence and enable them. When you think about it that way it does not seem like much of a decision.

When I have a piece of paper to throw away my preferred method is to wad it up real tight, get back to a distance of 10 to 20 feet, and hurl it at the trash can from that distance.  My success rate is about 10%.  It is a very inefficient way to discard a piece of paper.  I am forever on my knees fishing the little wad out from under the stove. 

At the same time it is fun and challenging and I have not even tried to break myself of this habit.  There is something thrilling about hitting the trash can from 20 feet—watching the little wad of paper disappear over the rim like a BB through a knot hole—that makes up for missing 9 out of 10 times.  When I hit one I throw my hands in the air in male triumph like a point guard who has just buried a 28 foot three-pointer to win the NBA championship.  That tenth time is so fun that I keep at this little game.  (I know what you are thinking, “Dave needs professional help.”  To that I say, “This is not a state secret.”)

I have one very sacred guideline for throwing these wadded up paper basketballs.  The rule is simple and important and clear and I am religious about this rule.  The rule is simply this:  “Give it a chance.”

“Give it a chance” means that I always throw the wad of paper with gusto and courage and confidence, with energy and with arch.  If the wad is thrown in this way it has a chance of getting all the way to the can and going in.  It has a chance of going straight in or of banking off the lower cupboards or of ricocheting off the stove hood or of shooting off the faucet.  I am not talking about a wild, mad, “hurl it with all my strength” toss that goes beyond the can and into the garage.  I am talking about a confident toss that is strong and high and devoid of timidity.

I have noticed that when I throw a wad timidly, cautiously, and cowardly that it almost never goes in.  It almost always falls short and usually far short of the can.  Twenty footers do not go in when they are thrown timidly.

(By the way, I just threw the top of a water bottle at my trash can here at work.  I missed wide right but it had the distance.)

I have come to believe that “give it a chance” applies to more than discarding paper wads and tossing water caps.  I think it also applies to most endeavors in life.  Opportunities tackled with courage and energy have a far better chance than those approached with timidity and caution.  Asking for things with “energy and rch” have a far better chance than asking for something with cowardice and resignation. 

If you are going to try something “give it a chance.”  If you are going to ask for something “give it a chance.”  If you are going to enter a ministry “give it a chance.” 

“Give it a chance” applies to:  job interviews, fund appeals, asking for dates, three-pointers, starting a ministry, opening a coffee shop, trying out for track, applying for college, pursuing promotions, motivating your child to try something new, asking your neighbor to consider Christ, jumping across a stream, taking up the clarinet, fixing the garage door, kayaking across the lake, catching the dog, selling the boat, entering a contest, ministry initiatives in the local church, and much more.

The Apostle Paul was a guy who “gave it a chance” in all his endeavors.  He said in Philippians 4:13, guided by the Holy Spirit, “I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.”  Since Christ is strengthening us the only sane thing is to tackle His work and our responsibilities with energy and courage and confidence and “give it a chance.”  Since we are not left on our own abilities the right thing is “give it a chance.”  Since God is helping us it doesn’t really make sense to be timid.

Whatever is ahead of you today “give it a chance.”  Don’t be timid.  Give it some energy and some arch.  You will be thrilled if it goes in like a BB through a knot hole.  And if it doesn’t go in—fish it out from under the stove and launch it again.

I walked into my home study one morning in July and looked at the large and chaotic mess before me. Something inside me snapped. “Enough is enough!” I said to myself, “I can’t live this way anymore. I am done with the bondage of stuff and disorder.”

On the day that I “snapped” my home study, my work office, and my garage all three resembled a tornado in a paper factory. The three spaces were stacked with books and papers and magazines and pens and trinkets and gear and mail and boxes and stuff, stuff, stuff. The top of my desk at home was invisible. The very desk itself was in danger of being engulfed by paper and stuff. My garage was so full and disorganized that I could barely get through to the garbage cans. My office at work was a disaster. I am not one of those messy people who can reach into a given pile and extract the paper I need. I am one of those people who must rummage through 13 piles in search of something. If I find the thing I am seeking it is a true miracle. In my garage there were 5 old PC’s with their printers, cables, discs, and manuals. I had 15 boxes of magazines, illustrations, and articles that I intended to read and file. I had moved these boxes from Dallas to Alaska (1983) and from Alaska to Idaho (1990) and from Idaho to Houston (2002)—and never once opened one of them. (I actually believed that at some time I was going to read the March 1978 issue of Moody Monthly and file the articles!) I owned about 3,000 books and could not find a specific book to save my proverbial life. My library included duplicates, triplicates, books I had borrowed and never returned, books I had never read, and books I did not know I had.

This “inner snapping” launched me on a mission of “stuff renewal”—a mission that I have sustained for more than 6 months now. I determined to clean up, pare down, store, file, sort, sell, throw away, give away, and ultimately escape the bondage of disorganized stuff. I made a commitment that first day to get rid of 10,000 personal items in the process of getting organized. I am now at 5, 189 items—I’m keeping track. I remain a driven man. I am not yet free. But I have tasted a piece of freedom and I am pressing on in the quest for full freedom.

Escaping the tyranny of this disorganized stuff will free me up to focus on important things—things that really matter. It will also restore to me untold amounts of emotional energy and time that my disorganization has drained from my life. It will buy unimaginable good will with my wife who has lived with this for two plus decades.

Something tipped in me and I began to make new choices. As I made those new choices substantial changes occurred in my life and the small changes that I made led to big changes and all the changes added up to whole new outcomes.

In 2002 Malcolm Gladwell released a book entitled: “The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference.” In the book Gladwell explains the phenomena that a small change in a big system can “tip” the system so that big changes result. He first came across the concept in the science of disease epidemics. Researchers have discovered that small, critical changes, happening at a key time and in a key place, can cause major changes in outcomes—can literally start a major epidemic.

Gladwell then found that this concept of the tipping point also operated outside the field
of disease and epidemics. Other systems could also be tipped in major ways by small changes. One of his examples is the history of the Hush Puppy shoe brand. He explains that the Hush Puppy brand, which had a long history of strong sales, was losing ground year by year and was about to be discontinued by the maker of the shoe. The n a tipping point occurred. Two or three of the top fashion designers in New York City began to wear hush puppies themselves. These people had such influence in the fashion world and such exposure in the media that there was an explosion in the demand for the shoes. There was a “Hush Puppy Epidemic.” The small change that spurred the epidemic was just two or three key people wearing the shoe in public. It tipped everything.

Churches also have “tipping points.” Little changes can result in a very big harvest or a very big loss. For example a church could make their last mortgage payment and free up more funds for ministry and see a major change in impact. A key lay leader could throw their support behind someone or something and unleash an epidemic of impact. A fringe attendee could start a rumor and the toxin of that gossip could tear the church apart and
cause great harm to a person or to many people. A worship service could come off with unusual energy and result in growing excitement about the church and therefore increased invitations to the church and therefore increased momentum for the church. A key family could take leadership in the small group initiative and attract all kinds of involvement. A key elder could leave and take others with him and set the work back six years. A neighbor could decide that the traffic is too heavy or the worship music is too loud and sue the church for noise pollution. A family could make a financial sacrifice and open up the budget for new ministry. All of these tipping points happen in churches continually.

Based on the tipping point concept, here are the questions I ask you to consider: “Might God use you to be the tipping point that CBC needs to leap up to greater impact?” “Might you be empowered by God to make a key change and cause a massive improvement at CBC?” “Might He motivate you to change one little behavior or little attitude or little pattern of relationship or little habit of speech and or little something and cause a big change for the better at CBC?”

Friends, here is what I believe: Cypress Bible is fighting forward with the help of God and with the energy of many good people. But it is a slow go. I believe we need all of you, our good people, making little changes, to bring us to a tipping point. We need a tipping point where our ministry impact can explode into an epidemic of spiritual births and baptisms and spiritual growth and reconciliations and cross-cultural impact and meeting of physical needs and training for ministry and engaging worship and epidemic levels of joy. At Cypress Bible Church might you be God’s tipping point to change one little thing and kick off the epidemic of ministry? Might it be that in five years from now we could trace a ministry explosion back to one little thing you changed? Whether you believe it or not you are a high- leverage person, a tipping point person. I am inviting you to “tip” us—kick off the epidemic.

Dave is the Senior Pastor of Cypress Bible Church in Cypress, Texas.  This column is published weekly and is designed to motivate both corporate and personal life transformation, to help us look more like Christ.

I have survived a harrowing event. I was one of the lucky ones who lived to tell about it. One of the fortunate “boys who came home.” One of those who dodged the bullets and missed the mines. I have survived as the father of the bride.

There is a great deal of pressure on the bride’s father. While the financial pressure is staggering and well-documented (most weddings are calculated in ”percentage of the national debt”) the greater pressure on dad is this: He must perform flawlessly, and utter his one line with perfection as one small contributor to the epic event of the only daughter’s big day. Should he fail at this small part — at the very beginning of the ceremony — it would be a bad omen that could send the entire affair spiraling down in a fiery crash. So, relax, Dad.

My part was simply this: The preacher will ask me, “Who gives this woman to be married to this man?” And then I say, “Her mother and I.” Four simple words. “Her mother and I”. What could be hard about that? Still, I practiced incessantly until the big day.
 The day came. The preliminaries raced by. The music played and I marched proudly down the ais le with my beautiful, very young (21), and only daughter. As he had promised, the preacher said, “Who gives this woman to be married to this man?” and I, with button-popping pride and evident confidence said loudly and clearly, ‘She and someone’s mother.”

I felt it was a respectable answer to a difficult question. However I was immediately hit with three pieces of evidence, like cue balls bouncing off my bald skull, that this was an incorrect answer. The first piece of evidence was that my daughter’s fingernails embedded in my bicep. (It was just a flesh wound — I set the bone myself.) The second indicator that my answer was wrong was a look of blanched terror on the pastor’s face. Thirdly, it sounded as if someone had lighted the “laugh sign” in the sanctuary. (A feature not found in most church sanctuaries these days.)

Given the rude and painful response to my first answer I tried again “The king and I?” (More laughter.) “I give you my mother-in-law?” (Wrong again.) “Laurel and Hardy?” (Rejected).
 I knew the answer included two people so I frantically listed a string of famous duos. “Roy Rodgers and Trigger?” “Hootie and the Blowfish?” “Joe Albertson and Fred Meyer?” “Mayor Milam and the Vandellas?” “Chief Sitting Bull and Chief Pocatello?” “DOE and LMITCO?” By now I felt like a frantic, fully panicked contestant on final Jeopardy — “Do, do, do, do, do, do, do…”

Finally I asked him to repeat the question, which he did with some dis gust. By now I figured he was searching for two people in our family. I couldn’t think who it would be.

“Let me give you a not so subtle hint, Mr. Gibson,” he said with dis gust. He said slowly, as if I was a 4-year-old, “The answer is “Her mother and I.” I was very relieved to have the answer and I said with relief, “Her mother and the preacher.”

My daughter did not like this answer either but the preacher himself had given it as the correct answer so I went and sat next to my wife, who was so happy to see me that she dug her fingernails into my forearm. (I guess when women are overcome with love on a special day like this they don’t know their own strength.)

The rest of the wedding went off without a hitch. I feel that my little mistake loosened up the rest of the performers considerably and made for a much better ceremony.

Amy and Joshua, I love you both. God bless you on the adventure of marriage. And Joshua, if one of your daughters ever gets married, just write the answer on your hand — no one would consider it cheating: “Her mother and I.”
__________________________________
Dave “Hoot” Gibson of Idaho Falls is one of several local writers who contribute to Voices from the Valley.